Velvet's 

Velvet is back!

Boozy, blowsy, tacky. And these are some of the nicer ways to describe former trailer park maven, Velvet Hiney. Velvet, once a member of the double-wide trailered Hiney Clan in Onetta, Alabama, dreamed of the day she could escape the trailer park and take her rightful place in big-wig society. After a divorce from her husband, Lamar, (after she caught him cheating with a big-tittied pool hall slut named Charlene), Velvet fled small town Alabama and now resides in the suburbs of the big city of Birmingham where she has decided to reinvent herself as a Martha Stewart-like dispenser of the tricks of the trade of party hostessing. Of course, Velvet’s only real experience as a social doyenne was one disastrously failed Tuppeware Party, but Velvet has never been one to let reality deter her dreams.

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